WHAT MAKES A GOOD LIFE?

Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness

A great TED talk from Harvard professor Robert Waldinger. Rings true.

What keeps us happy and healthy as we go through life? If you think it's fame and money, you're not alone – but, according to psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, you're mistaken. As the director of a 75-year-old study on adult development, Waldinger has unprecedented access to data on true happiness and satisfaction. In this talk, he shares three important lessons learned from the study as well as some practical, old-as-the-hills wisdom on how to build a fulfilling, long life.

Robert Waldinger is a psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and Zen priest. He is Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and directs the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies of adult life ever done. The Study tracked the lives of two groups of men for over 75 years, and it now follows their Baby Boomer children to understand how childhood experience reaches across decades to affect health and wellbeing in middle age. He writes about what science and Zen can teach us about healthy human development.

1. Close relationships

The men in both groups of the Harvard study who reported being closer to their family, friends, or community tended to be happier and healthier than their less social counterparts. They also tended to live longer. By comparison, people who said they were lonelier reported feeling less happy. They also had worse physical and mental health, as defined above.

A 2014 review of dozens of studies published in the journal Social and Personality Psychology Compass suggests that loneliness can get in the way of mental functioning, sleep, and well-being, which in turn increases the risk of illness and death.

2. Quality (not quantity) of relationships

It's not just being in a relationship that matters. Married couples who said they argued constantly and had low affection for one another (which study authors defined as "high-conflict marriages") were actually less happy than people who weren't married at all, the Harvard study found.

However, the effect of relationship quality seems to depend somewhat on age. A 2015 study published in the journal Psychology and Aging that followed people for 30 years found that the number of relationships people had was, in fact, more important for people in their 20s, but the quality of relationships had a bigger effect on social and psychological well being when people were in their 30s.

3. Stable, supportive marriages

Being socially connected to others isn't just good for our physical health. It also helps stave off mental decline. People who were married without having divorced, separating, or having "serious problems" until age 50 performed better on memory tests later in life than those who weren't, the Harvard study found.

And other research backs this up. A 2013 study in the journal PLOS ONE found that marriage, among other factors, was linked to a lower risk of mild cognitive impairment and dementia.

All of this suggests that strong relationships are critical to our health.

Society places a lot of emphasis on wealth and "leaning in" to our work, Waldinger said. "But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community."

ART IS OUR NEW RELIGION AND MUSEUMS ARE OUR NEW CATHEDRALS

LECTURE @THE SCHOOL OF LIFE: The founder of The School of Life, Alain de Botton examines the purpose of art. We often hear that art is meant to be very important; but we're seldom told exactly why. Here de Botton argues that art can be a form of therapy.

Alain de Botton on Art as Therapy

This is an amazing talk given by Alain de Botton who is a Swiss/British writer and philosopher (among many other talents), is well know for discussing philosophy’s relevance to everyday life. When you have a spare moment, spend the 40 plus minutes and soak up his many insights. It is quite rewarding. He is an incredible speaker.

Alain posits that “. . . culture can fill the gaps left by the departure of religion in modern life and art can help us with the problems of the soul. I believe that art should be propaganda on behalf of something else, not theology, but psychology. I believe that art should serve the needs of our psyche as efficiently and as clearly as it served the needs of theology for hundreds of years.”

Here are a few of his main points and quotes from his talk.

1. Art is a tool for memory. Art is a bucket that holds our experiences and our emotions. It also draws our attention to those things that are most significant and opens us to facets of the world which would otherwise be invisible.
2. Art has a very important function in giving us hope. Art is a life raft to ferry us through darkness and prettiness is part of its mission.
3. Art reminds us that we are not alone in our suffering. Art provides us with moments of communion around the dark realities of our lives, in a way that is eloquent and dignified. Art is like putting on a Leonard Cohen CD when things are bad. It doesn’t drag us down. It brings us up by acknowledging that we’re all in this together
4. Art can rebalance us. Art is a rebalancing agent. The kind of art that moves us and draws us in, is very often a work of art that our unconscious recognizes contains a concentrated dose of our missing virtues. What are we missing? What are we afraid of? What have we lost touch with?
5. Art is fantastic propaganda tool on behalf of the good. Art can stir us, motivate us. The problem about life is not that we don’t know what being good or kind, or meaningful involves or is, but that we aren’t motivated to act on the knowledge that lies sterile within us. And the point of art is to get us motivated.
6. We need role models around us in order to keep us on track. Art does this. Many works of art have a philosophy of life within them.
7. Works of art have always attempted to open our eyes to the neglected value of the everyday. Art helps us to re-see certain jaded aspects of our lives that we’ve grown spoiled about.
8. Art can induct us toward essential truths of life. We are creatures that lose perspective easily, producing great anxiety. Our eye is stilled in front of something huge, dignified and beautiful.
9. Art allows us to rediscover the virtues and values in each other. Art expands the conversation. It makes us less lonely with the more sad and private parts of us. Art reminds us that love is an attempt to harmonize the jagged, to regularize the irregular. Art reminds us of the failure of curiosity in modern life and the desperate need to remain curious.
10. Art helps us to feel proud and involved with our community.
11. Art is very good at showing us how things can be.
12. And finally, art is a living resource for our hearts. Not just an academic or historical exercise.

I hope you enjoy this talk as much as I did. So many kernels of wisdom, so lovingly presented.

ALAIN DE BOTTON ON WAYS TO EDUCATE THE MODERN HUMAN SOUL

Speaker: Alain de Botton, Writer / Founder, The School of Life 연사: 알랭 드 보통, 작가 / 인생학교 창립자 (**Captioned in Korean / 한글자막 유) How can we re-learn everyday troubles and enjoyments in our lives in this digital age? How we can collaboratively build a happier tomorrow, a more livable world for all?

An inspiring talk, given at a recent conference in South Korea, by Alain de Botton who is a Swiss/British writer and philosopher (among many other talents), and is well know for discussing philosophy's relevance to everyday life.
When you have a spare moment, spend the 45 plus minutes and soak up his many insights. It is quite rewarding. He is an incredible speaker. And, the most relevant bits come later in the talk, especially in the Question and Answer period with the Korean MC and the audience. Worth watching till the end.
Alain talks about how society has done away with religion and its reminders of how to live in this world. And, he addresses the ways that technology can serve the deep human need of communication with each other.

VISUAL STORYTELLING: THE ILLUSTRATIONS OF CRAIG FRAZIER

Noted illustrator Craig Frazier discusses his approach to the art of storytelling. His work can be seen at http://www.craigfrazier.com Watch in HD full screen for best viewing.

I’m trying to find a story.

Here are some wonderful illustrations from illustrator/designer, Craig Frazier. Watch the short video about his process. Such simple and surprising work that sticks in your memory.

 “Each illustration carries a story. Without a story, it is just a drawing. With a story, it is an invitation . . . ”

Craig Frazier1

“Every illustration comes from a sketch.”
“It is important to trust your ideas.”

Craig Frazier2

“By keeping your hand in the work, using simple means, it keeps the images clean and builds in a level of simplicity.”

“If there is any magic about an illustration, it happens at the sketching stage. Because, this is when it comes out of your pen.”

and finally, Craig’s website: http://craigfrazier.com/